


Under My Skin

by yourlittlebirdy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, F/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-27 19:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17772794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourlittlebirdy/pseuds/yourlittlebirdy
Summary: Written to the sound of Frank Sinatra's beautiful songs.Draco Malfoy has always had a crush on Hermione Granger.  It started as a childhood infatuation and he figured it would end as simply as it began.  A year has passed since he last saw her and it seems as though nearly everything has changed.  Everything except that little crush.  It's only grown and twisted over time.  She's still under his skin.





	1. A Man Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to "Under My Skin". This is my first attempt at writing a story like this. I've been a huge fan of the Draco/Hermione pairing since I was younger. Since I now love to write, I thought I'd take a crack at writing something myself. Thank you so much for clicking on with me and I hope you enjoy the ride.

He must be absolutely mad.

That could be the only explanation for it.

Standing there with a barely touched glass in his hand, he found himself unable to look away from her.

How long had it been? A year? More?

Yet, here she was. Her hair tamer, her skin fairer. She was smaller, something only he probably would notice. Years spent watching obsession over someone meant  
that even the slightest of changes were noticeable. She had lost a little weight, but it was mostly noticeable in the way she held herself now.

She once stood as though she was the tallest person in the world.

Now, her shoulders curved down into herself and he hadn’t seen her lift her head up once.

She was tucked into Potter’s side, his arm wrapped around her shoulders seemed to be the only thing keeping her upright. 

She looked like everything but the girl she was.

It wasn’t often that one ever saw Hermione Granger afraid.

To his knowledge, it had only ever truly happened twice.

Draco had been there for both.

He shifted in his position leaning against the wall as she finally glanced up.

The curtain of hair that had been keeping her face hidden all evening fell away.

It startled him to see her face in person once again.

The endless nights he had spent lying awake at night painting her face over and over again in his mind could never give justice to this moment.

Her lips were fuller than he remembered, painted cardinal to match her dress.

Her cheek bones were sharper, the freckles on them more noticeable without her usual tan.

Her brows twisted with anxiety.

Her trembling hands drew his attention and he had to enact every ounce of his self-control to keep himself from leaving his corner to hold them.

Something tingled in the back of his mind and he looked up.

His eyes met hers.

They were the same honey gold that had become his favorite color.

She was looking at him.

His heart leapt out of his chest. He quickly slid back into his mask of indifference that he wore constantly. Back to safety, back to cold.

But she had already seen. She had seen him staring at her hands with the longing of a starving man.

But how? He had picked the darkest corner in the hall and had gone nearly entirely unnoticed all night.

A man alone in the dark.

It was all he had ever been. It was all he ever would be.

But she had found him and he felt himself melting into her eyes just as he had all the years before.

Mad. He was absolutely mad.

Her ruby lips quirked up in a ghost of a smile and she turned to the hero boy beside her.

She whispered something in his ear, slipping out from under his arm.

Potter gave her a gentle smile and a nod before turning back to the fawning couple he had been talking to before. 

Her red gown swished around her ankles as she headed towards the dark corner.

Towards him.

He couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu.

He felt as though he were watching a hundred Hermiones walking toward him at once.

A million memories stretching out before him.

Walking toward him to introduce herself.

Walking toward him to question him.

Walking toward him to punch him.

Walking toward him to kiss him.

Walking toward him to say goodbye.

He wondered which one it would be this time.

He had imagined this moment an infinite times over the past year and it was finally happening.

He was definitely going mad.

Because he couldn’t help but hope it would be a kiss at the end of her antagonizing path.

Even if they were at her boyfriend’s funeral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to "A Man Alone". An incredible song and lyrics that remind me a great deal of Draco.


	2. Bang Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick reminder that I sadly am not the incredible J.K. Rowling and therefore do not own the characters or setting of this story.  
> And a heads up - This chapter we will be heading back into time to their first year at Hogwarts.  
> Thank you again for reading, I hope you enjoy!!

First Year – Part One

Draco held tighter to his mother’s hand as he observed the loud, smoky train station before him.

Children and parents were scattered everywhere, hugs of goodbye and promises of letters swirling around him.

His father marched ahead of them, his dark cloak billowing with each forceful step he took.

“It’s okay to be nervous, darling,” his mother’s soft voice floated down to him.

He glanced at the back of his father, so strong and fearless.

Draco squared his shoulders and put on the smirk he had learned from watching his father. “I’m not nervous at all.”

Narcissa’s eyes squinted a little, but any words she was about to speak were cut off by the sound of his father clearing his throat.

“It’s time you board, Draco,” Lucius knelt down to Draco’s height, his silver hair seeming to meld with the wispy smoke in the air. “This first year is very important, son. You must make sure to make the right connections and friendships.”

Draco nodded his head firmly and shook the hand his father had reached out to him.

After a smothering hug from his mother, he turned toward the looming train. 

He boarded and began to search for the other first-years who he knew from summers at the Manor.

The children of his parent’s friends were to be his friends. They were Slytherin-bound and pureblooded like he was. That was the way things were always to be.

After searching a few of the train compartments unsuccessfully, he decided to settle in an empty one as the train began moving.

Opening the door, he was startled to find that the compartment was not in fact empty as he had expected.

A girl sat curled on one of the bench seats, a large book laying across her lap.

She had brown, curly hair that looked as though it had never met a comb. When she glanced up, he noticed she had freckles and a wide, gapped-teeth smile.

“Hello, would you like to sit here?” Her words startled him from his observations.

Her brown eyes shined with kindness and he entered the carriage and reached to place his trunk on the shelf.

“My name is Hermione Granger. What is yours?” She still had that smile on her face.

“Malfoy, Draco Malfoy.” He spoke in the formal voice his father had taught him and reached out his hand for a shake.

“What are you reading?” He glanced down at the massive book and then back up at her with a quirked eyebrow.

“Hogwarts: A History. I think it’s always important to be prepared for what is to come. And it helped with explaining things to my parents.” She closed the book and held it up for him to see.

Draco was confused. “Explain to your parents?”

She nodded her head, her mass of curls bouncing with her. “Yes, they are muggles.”

Draco felt something twist in his stomach. He had heard his father saying terrible things about wizards and witches who had non-magical parents. He had said the word mudblood with such contempt that Draco assumed they must be monsters.

However, the girl didn’t seem to be a monster. She looked really very normal. Sure, her hair was a little strange and made Draco’s hands itch with the need to fix it, but she had been nothing but kind.

Maybe he had misunderstood his father. He’d ask mother in his first letter home.

“Oh, I see. My parents are wizards. I guess I’m lucky that I didn’t have to be the one explaining things.”

Her laugh was sweet and made him smile.

“Yeah, my parents were really freaked out at first. They kept thinking it was some elaborate plan I had created to run away.” She giggled.

He noticed then that she was not yet wearing any robes. Instead, she had on a white knit sweater and pants unlike anything he had seen before. They were a blue color and looked incredibly itchy compared to his soft trousers.

How opposite they looked sitting across from each other. A boy dressed in black and a clothed girl in white.

“Are those muggle pants?” He asked and she glanced down in confusion.

“Oh, yes, I guess so. They’re called blue jeans. My parents-,” She was cut off by the door of their compartment slamming open. Two boys stood at the door, panting with hair askew.

“Alright if we sit here?” The dark haired one asked as the ginger boy was already entering and putting up his luggage.

“Of course!” Hermione said before Draco could refuse. He felt a strange annoyance that these boys were joining them.

The freckled boy collapsed into the seat beside Draco and began tugging handfuls of sweets from his robe pocket.

He shoved a chocolate into his mouth and spoke with chocolate staining his teeth. “So what are your names?”

Draco resisted the urge to correct his manners, his mother’s scolding echoing in his ears. He was perfectly trained in how to eat, how to sit, how to think.

“I am Draco Malfoy and this is Hermione Granger.” He said, gesturing towards the girl who had been watching the dark haired boy beside her fiddle with his broken glasses.

“I’m Ronald Weasley, but everyone calls me Ron except my mum. And that’s… Oh, I guess I never asked your name, mate.” The ginger popped a handful of gummies into his mouth.

Draco had heard about the Weasleys and their lack of manners from his father. He figured Ron’s behavior made sense now.

The dark haired boy finally looked up and seemed to be startled to find each pair of eyes trained on him.

“Err, I’m Harry.”

They all nodded hello before settling into a mostly comfortable silence.

“I can try fixing those if you’d like.” Hermione said to Harry and he glanced at her hopefully.

He handed them over and Hermione retrieved her wand from beside her.

She waved her wand a little hesitantly and whispered softly. “Reparo.”

The glasses melded back together to the astonishment of each boy in the compartment.

“Bloody hell! Where in the world did you learn to do that?” The Weasley boy asked and Hermione’s cheeks blushed at the attention.

“I read about it. I hadn’t ever tried it before until now, though. Here you go, Harry.” She said, handing the glasses back over.

Time passed quickly as they discussed the houses they were hoping for and Draco and Harry connected over both wanting to join the Quidditch team.

Draco felt more at ease than he ever had with the children who had come to the manor. Although, he still wasn’t too sure about Weasley boy. He seemed to have a sugar addiction and an inclination to speak much louder than necessary.

Most of all he was delighted by Hermione’s seemingly immense knowledge. All of the questions about Hogwarts he had been afraid to ask his father were answered easily by her. 

It seemed all too soon that the train began to slow down. Out the window, the three young wizards and witch watched with excitement as the train grew closer to its stop.

“We’re here!” Draco said and immediately reprimanded himself for the excited squeak in his voice.

“A new beginning.” Hermione said to him with a smile and he repeated those words to himself as he stepped out of the train.

A new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to Frank Sinatra's "Bang Bang (She Shot me Down)". Please let me know down below how you think things are going so far! As always, all my love! Xo


	3. Forget to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves! This chapter we will be back in present day setting from chapter one. This is the way that I am planning on structuring the story. Switching between current day and flashbacks each chapter. Just to help with confusion I will leave a little reminder of which time we are set in at the top of the chapter. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this new chapter. I had so much fun writing it, but my heart does hurt for our dear Draco.

The seconds stretched like lifetimes and then suddenly she was in front of him.

She had been beautiful across the room, but seeing her just inches away nearly did him in.

“I think I need some fresh air. Would you care to join me?” Her voice was soft and her eyes nervously flittered away from his.

“Of course.” He responded and held his arm out to her.

They left the suffocating hall and found their way to a garden she recognized at once.

“I had forgotten about this garden.” She whispered as a gasp left her. She twirled around in a circle to admire the hundreds of roses.

Draco’s heart pounded in his ears and he felt everything fade away as he watched her face bathed in moonlight.

She was aglow, a true rose in the night. 

“We forgot to remember quite a lot.” He said without thinking. He quickly realized the gravity of his words and wished he could pull them back, wished he could have stuck to his original plan.

He was to pretend that all was normal. To keep things casual. To keep things light.

He somehow had thought he was capable of such things.

Her head snapped towards him and her eyebrows furrowed with confusion.

He backtracked quickly, “I mean, we all forget things we wished to remember with time.”

She nodded in agreement, but her inquisitive look remained.

“My mother planted these roses.” He noted, feeling a familiar tugging in what was left of his heart.

“Oh my, she did an amazing job. I could imagine spending hours out here. Is this your property then?” She asked, her chocolate eyes glittering with curiosity.

Her urge to learn more made him smile and he had to keep himself from reaching out to tuck a wayward curl back behind her ear.

“Yes,” he glanced back to the grand home behind him, “my mother used this as a place to escape to in the summers.”

He had set the Scottish castle up as a space available for events just a week before her search for a venue began.

“It’s beautiful. I fell in love with it right away when Harry and I were looking at locations for the… for the event tonight. It was the garden that really made me decide  
this would be the perfect place.” She gave him a small smile and he tucked it away for safe keeping.

“I’m glad you find it suitable. I’m sorry for the circumstances under which you were searching. And I’m truly sorry for your loss.” It was the truth. He was sorry. 

He was sorry for an endless number of things.

Most of them wrapped around the girl in front of him.

She smiled again and sighed before taking a seat on the bench in the center of the circle of rose bushes.

“Thank you. It has still be a lovely night, though, despite the cause for it. I’m so glad everyone came dressed with color. I just think it’s so much better than everyone wearing black.” She fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist.

“It has been a fantastic evening. You made it into a celebration rather than a funeral. I think everyone truly appreciated that,” he said, wishing he could tell her just how incredible she was.

“It’s what he would have wanted. He always hated serious events. I just couldn’t see him being happy with us making his death into one.” Her eyes glazed over with memories of a boy with red hair.

He fought the twisting inside his lungs.

From here, the music was fainter, but it still drifted lightly in the air.

“Excuse me if I am overstepping, but you seem in need of distraction.” He stepped toward her.

Her laugh nearly choked him. “Yes, I think I am. What do you have in mind?”

He reached his hand out to her, “Dance with me.”

Her eyes searched his for a moment before she lightly placed her hand in his. He sucked in a breath.

Helping her up, he gently pulled her into his arms.

Slowly they began to sway to the sweet melody.

She was in his arms.

She was in his arms again and he felt tears in the back of his eyes.

Indescribably joy. Indescribable pain.

He was a man living and dying simultaneously.

He wrapped his arm slightly tighter around her waist and twirled her around the garden.

He stared down at her face, the face he had dreamed of every night.

Her eyes flashed in the silver light of the moon.

She looked closely at his face with something close to wonder.

“I’m sorry, you just look so familiar. Have we met?” She asked and he stumbled.

His arms retracting from her, he steadied himself.

Cracks upon cracks on his heart.

He knew he needed to leave.

He knew he couldn’t let this happen.

But he looked at her, so small and unaware in the moonlight and he wanted to tell her everything.

He looked into her eyes that did not recognize him.

The thread he had held onto for so long felt so thin he worried for a moment it might snap.

That maybe he had overestimated himself. Maybe this was too much.

Maybe he couldn’t wait.

He wanted her to remember.

He wanted her to remember what she had forgotten.

But he knew he couldn’t.

Not yet.

“We were in the same year at Hogwarts,” he answered truthfully, “Pardon my manners, I see I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Draco Malfoy.”

She seemed to decide not to mention his strange reaction to her question.

“Oh, like the constellation. How lovely. It’s nice to meet you, Draco. I’m Hermione Granger,” she said and reached her hand towards his for a shake.

He pulled himself together and took her hand and kissed it lightly.

He boxed the memories of her up inside his mind and locked it tightly.

“The pleasure is all mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written while listening to "Forget to Remember." A tragic and gorgeous song that I think will be very fitting throughout much of the story. Thank you so much for reading.


End file.
